This is a journal of a suicide attempt. Its pretty graphic. Please be kind and leave comments and thoughts. I am hoping to spread awareness of this issue that plagues our communities and the burden it brings on both survivors and suffers.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Nov 9th, second day in the hospital.
I feel that I must explain more in depth about the severity of what was occurring at this point in time. He was dying a very slow death because his body wasn't receiving and nutrients or hydrogration. Did he know this prior no. So with that being explained.The second day in the hospital. He decides he wants to take a shower so he asks if he can the nice nurse says of course. While in the shower he sneezes and the NG tube comes out like a bat out of hell. The first reaction he can think of is really, great! So he tells the nurse and then the brute squad comes in to put it in again. This time its not happening like the first time. It just won't go in they give him a nose bleed because of trying to get that damn tube down. It hurts like a son of a gun! Reality is *bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep this bleepin thing* Yeah! Then he also has to get some more tests and procedures done. Blood sugar twice a day. Morphine as much as they will allow him. It takes the edge off. Anti acids twice a day. Blood thinner. Because he can't really leave his bed at this time. He is attached to the wall and to the IV fluids and TPN. That is all they give him. They can't give him an oral medications because well it won't go any where. The morphine helps him sleep plus they give him some other stuff for nausea and the like that helps him sleep. He tries to sleep through most of this. It doesn't really work. * Bleep bleep bleep * Its later in the evening the nice nurse comes in. " So we have to get that NG tube in " His room has gotten very crowded. They are gonna hold him down the just feel it. She comes back in and gives him a boat ton of pain meds and the like to relax him. Then the greatest thing ever an anesthesiologist comes in. That guy is my hero just to let everyone know. He sprays this nasal spray to numb the nose and bam that NG tube is in and down cake! Where the hell was this guy early! Someone does love him. After this the pain meds kick in. He is gone! I am not talking like you drank to much gone I am talking like there is no world gone! He was out. He doesn't even remembering talking to the nurses about books or anything. He thought it was a dream. The world at this point and time became non-existent. It was beautiful. When the world becomes that oblvious to you or your surroundings it like someone cast a magic spell and you get to benefit. He gets woken up a few times during the night medication, tests, the usual. End of day 2 in the hospital.
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