Oct 1 2013, suicide attempt

It was a bright and sunny day in Huntersville, NC. It was early afternoon. Sitting inside of Barnes and Noble on a laptop was a young man about the age of 28 but he looked younger when he shaved. He hadn't shaved that month his face was completely covered with facial hair. He shaved off all his hair early in Sept for a fresh start but he still didn't feel it was enough. Sitting in the coffee shop drinking water from the self serve pitcher. He sat typing away to people on Facebook trying to overcome a deep bout of depression. The reality was he was over whelmed, struggling, hopeless. It wasn't worth the struggle anymore. He was hopeless, he felt useless, he felt ashamed, a shattered human being. He didn't want to be there anymore. What to do? What to think? How do you solve an unsolvable problem? He didn't want to solve any more problems. He didn't want to struggle with anything anymore. The sadness, the anguish, the hurt, the pain, the shame. Pain? Pain! What do you now of pain? It wasn't enough he needed to be punished! He needed to show the world that he was sorry. Minutes passed, hours passed. Thoughts reeling, emotions running rampant. Now was the time. Good bye friends. Thank you for your support. Good bye my love even though its over and we are through. The last step outreach from the lost soul. Friends saying no don't do this. Trying to calm the storm. "We love you. This isn't the answer." To late blades trying to cut through soft tissue trying to make the floor run red. Blade won't break skin. Barely makes a drop. Nothing. What next? He has to finish what he started! What next? What next! Poison! Chemicals! He goes home digs through the cleaning supplies. He finds a bottle. Blue. Matches his mood. He runs outside and takes a swig. It goes down. Bitter, sour, awful! Pain. Intense pain, burning, vomiting. Oh my god what has he done! The pain! Oh god the pain. He doesn't wanna die! Not like this. The pain! More vomit. Solid black. "Please god someone help me!" Screaming. Pain! Oh my god the pain. Vomit more and more vomit. Sirens wailing! "Please god I want to live!" Screaming. " Its, ok son the ambulance is here." 30 minutes! 1800 seconds! It takes that long to get to the hospital. In 30 minutes a young man went from suicide to please let me live. 10 minutes to commit the act 5 for the ambulance to show up 15 to get to the hospital. It only takes a moment.