Friday, December 20, 2013

Finding faith, in a sterile environment.

Let's go back to Oct 5th a Saturday. Rough estimate of time its about 3 in the afternoon. I am sitting in my hospital bed. Trying to find greater purpose after a failed suicide attempt. I remember hospitals have priests or chaplains or clergy involved in the healing process. So, I asked for a priest to join me in prayer. I really needed it. So, with that I waited must have been 7PM at night when there is a knock on the door. The chaplain comes in and we start talking.

Now, I will be the first to admit. I am not a spiritual man. My ethics and values don't come from the bible. I have seen too many hypocrites to go down that path. I told this to the gentleman but he sat and let me speak and listened to my story and I asked him to pray with him. Without a blink of an eye he did so. I needed to look beyond myself for an answer. I hope this was it. After we prayed he came back with a bible for me and I started reading it daily.
     
     Lets fast forward to a few days later, I am in a locked unit for people with behavioral issues/mental health issues. People who have attempted suicide knowingly or unknowingly. They stick us in a ward with no activities but our own mind and let us shimmer in our own juices. But that isn't this story. It's visiting day, an hour before visitors are to arrive I call my mother. She said that her friend and her husband wanted to come see me. I had never really meet them before so I was like ok. But they can't make it today because they are going out of town. Sure why not. Ok well as long as I know its better than waiting and being disappointed right.Next thing I know about 30 minutes later I get another call. Its my mother the husband is coming up he wants to talk. Ok.... what.... alright so confused. It will take him about an hour or a little bit longer. He has to drive and its an hour drive to where I am at.
              So I hang out in the common area watching tv waiting. He arrives so we walk to my room and we start to talk. Yes even crazy people surrounded by other crazy people like their space when talking to others. We are peculiar like that. So we start to talk and he tells me about his story. He has addiction issues plus mental health issues. I think everyone does but some are more willing to admit it then others. But his life has been up and downs and not very livable and he doesn't know how he is alive because of all the drugs and things he has done. But, something changed his life around and he has changed his life for the better. Its called Celebrate Recovery... A 12 step program for people with addiction issues, but its no only for people with addiction its for everyone who has suffering and wants to improve their lives healthy through Gods word. I listen and listen and I want to do this program. I need this program I want this program. I have to find a way to this program!!! What does this tell you about this program and their belief in it. This guy drives all together about 2 hours to see me just to spend an hour of time with me to talk to me about this program! Do you think he truly believes? They don't want money,they don't want your praise they are just doing God's works like he tells them too! I have yet to make a meeting not because I don't want to or I don't believe. But I have to work at the times of the meets and I honestly have to have the income. If I didn't need it that bad or was a millionaire I would be there in a heartbeat and I will attend because of how much of an impact this gentleman made on me! That is the goal for 2014 to do this! To live in accordance with the positive and the spiritual! Have a great day and life!

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