Friday, August 15, 2014

Do I want to write to live, or do I live to write?

Hello everyone. 

        It's been a few months since I have last written a word on these tattered pages that I call my personal journal. I keep staring at it, wondering if me immortalizing my thoughts and my actions was a spiritual uplifting idea or was it just a brazen way for me to step out of my cowardice and ask for help? 

I used to write daily. I had the time, so I wrote. Or did I make time to write every day and just found the time to do everything else? I have been suicide free for almost a year. Oct 1st is coming soon. That doesn't mean I don't sometimes think to myself how difficult things have been (I make them more difficult by allowing myself to quit when things start changing).

I keep trying to include myself in my own decision making process, but sometimes I just jump and end up doing something I have no idea what I am doing. 

As I write this I am trying to improve every aspect of myself. I think every day I will write a small little paragraph or two about what I am learning. Come join me. Maybe we can all do this together. Don't let your illness, whether mental or physical define you. 

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